Awaken Dream

  • Post author:
  • Post category:Blog

I have experienced rainy, sunny, dawn, dusk and dark in my circle, vicious circle, in fact. Visual,
I am projecting right now is representing that mucus that is cruel enough to heal every single
social disease. I am speechless but bound to speak up the melody of life galloping as sweet as
indigenous beaten rice.
A woman in the heart of Kathmandu valley, very jolly and versatile enough to conquer her own
world, limited within her home, friends and a sweet love of her life. In fact, she doesn’t have a
big vision enough to represent her in a global arena but smart enough to woo her colorful master
cards. Simple valley girl, who belongs to Newari culture, was smart from her days of childhood
but very shy in character, most loved in a family.
All seemed beautiful until she was twisted with the philosophy of release mechanism-inhale to
exhale. Means, she was suffocated with the ordinary life with the same repeated cultural deeds,
which provoked her to blend her life with the contemporary circle of her own choice.
Meanwhile, she has just started to develop intimacy with her counterparts enjoying the golden
days of adulthood. Furthermore, the intense Newari culture added more flavor to it complying
with the ethnic alcohol the most. Yes, that particular décor was just a normal part of the life and
culture but later transformed to malicious poison. I am still confused with the point that all was
good including the rhyme of the family but what happened so wrong that makes her fly like a
meaningless bird with no destination. However, culture played a major catalyst to provoke her to
be an addict of adaptation. Detailing it, she was prone to addictive drinks, lost in the brutal circle
of love and lust, and maintains a good gap with family as a selfish “Tom-boy".
She was searching her love in every possible state of the art or lust; she was still in a big
dilemma. Partying with friends up to late night and basically, the freak character was her
ornament. She starts thinking that was her golden days of life embracing all the lust as a love. In
the same process, she started having an intimate relationship, better to say as” bloody intimacy”
with whoever infatuates her. I can feel that, was so fascinating and enduring for her.
Time and tides wait for no men, so do women in this case; she was lucking enough to find one
charming boy as her soul mate, Jack, the man with an addiction. Actually, they started having
narcotics in the form of marijuana, nitro vexes (drug capsule), addictive drinks at the same time.
In no time, they decided to get married with the consensus of their family but a big skepticism in
their heart.
Actually, this was the most interesting part of their story because, even though they love each
other, they did have more options in their hearts as alternative potential soul mates. This is the
most mysterious love I have ever experienced, and will not experience in my circle ever. Finally,
they got married at the age of 25 and started having a beautiful life for at least a year. As we all

know weak pillars won’t last long, which in fact in this relationship was constructed with
addiction, a high degree of ego as to change the negative behaviors prevailing in, feebleness of
the family.
Time passed by, it was already 3 years after they got married had one child named Dallu. Black
magic and the soul of life started acting miserable. Girl, in fact “Tom boy” was aged mature and
strong enough to get the real taste of life as a complete woman. In no time, leaving her husband
behind in the race of understanding life, she unfolded the pictures of life reflecting beginning,
process complexity, and the end. She was happy that she was a woman with full-fledged high
It is easy to walk on the knife,
Tasted life’s ups and the darkest site;
Almighty! I can bear more pain; help me to fly like a wild kite;
Please help me to stay longer with my soul mate, my hubby my life.

Hell! She was young enough to be diverted, she was young enough to know the fragrance of life
and it was obvious to be misled. But, we all must know time won’t spare an old, healthy man or
even this particular woman. Now, her husband got the real love of his life, called Bella. The real
couple made for each other. Ha! Yes, I am in a vicious circle now, this story is non-other than
myself, and my name is Maya. I was gifted by god and cursed at the same time. I have learned
the meaning of the life and value of my hubby at the same time. I know, 5 years of our affair was
so miserable for him. I pestered him time and again. Acted so freaked, torching him in most of
the beautiful span of our life.
Yes! Now I have realized that bitter deeds and wants to be in the zone where we used to be safe
and happy. Can I get him back?
Hubby and his soul mate started indulging in dates and even got so intimated physically sharing
all the beautiful moments, seemed to be ok for me. I have waited him long to come back to my
life for at least 3 years back from now, waiting and waiting. I even can't think of getting
divorced, even though they frequently had a chat in social media in front of me posing strong as,
I was a servant, yes, I was helpless. I was strong enough to get separated at any time supported
by my degree and my permanent job, I was the complete independent woman. Yes, my
qualification was my strength then.
I was in the world of fantasy, dreaming about the life to get reshuffled again, but, dreams were
meant to be broken in awaken. By the way, I haven't experienced the death in my life, which I
have encountered it for the first time in warm bed with my so- called hubby. Soon after the video

chat with his mate, just detached from the soft romantic expressions, he jumped at me with
extreme lust. Yes, it was a lust; I countered death, I bitterly experienced being raped by my
husband for the first time. It wall all over! I literally divorced him from my heart. During the
course, I couldn’t stop my tears to fall, fall continuously, I was dead alive.

I have cried years before,
Felt pain in heart afore;
Novel agony, I countered now, was more and more,
Explicit moves of divinity were awesome, I adore.

I was on the edge to take a strong decision, “initiation of war”, living free with my academic
competency versus the bisected love and lust. I was very clear to be independent, but, the biggest
evil arrives in the form of culture, yes! I was again helpless. Staying alone with my child, Dallu
penetrating all the norms and values of society was as strong as chewing iron balls. I have no
other choice but to embrace the false aura of the society and release soft tears from my eyes
every day, after embracing my jumping jack once again, yes my hubby. I am waiting for that
particular day when even weaker woman than me will set a sturdy light to fire the ball of
independence. That day will be the genuine "Independence Day “of every single woman on